It is very unlikely that you were ejected unwillingly from the Inanity Club, as conduct warranting such action is difficult to imagine. So it is likely that you voluntarily resigned your membership because it was a waste of time, or you were appalled by the Club's content, or you simply did not wish to be affilliated in any way with its other members. For whatever reason your membership in the Club has lapsed and now you are considering reinstatement. Under most circumstances member reinstatement is a simple effort but it is not necessarily a forgone conclusion. All requests are reviewed and reinstatement may be denied with or (more likely) without cause.

Please be advised that The Inanity Club has not codified the procedures for reinstatement into The Inanity Club. Nevertheless you are still encouraged to re-consider your answer to the prime question... Why in god's name would you want to be a member of any sorority, much less the Inanity Club?

1. The past member must submit her request for re-instatement, with photo, via e-mail to the Inanity Club.
2. Past members requesting re-instatement are advised to bribe an Inanity Club officer with cash or equivalents, or sexual favors. Cash bribes of $5 or less or a Grande Starbuck's latte have been known to be effective.
3. Those past members who have been permanently barred from membership for eternity are advised to try cash amounts of at least $20 or sexual favors involving penetration.
4. Bribes should be transmitted to Inanity Club officers through personal channels and never be mentioned in official club publications.
5. It is requested that members who are reinstated should NOT submit new application/questionnaire. As past members, you should be aware that the officers are too busy to review your personal information and they do not care about it anyway.
6. Past members with more than one lapsed period of any length or with a lapsed period greater than 6 months or have resigned by statement will be vetted by the officers of the Club and the House of Ladies, as soon as they can figure out what "vetting" means.
7. If approved the Reinstatement Effective Date will be the first Tuesday of the third month following the last Sunday of the week the Request for Reinstatement was received, except during election years in which years.. oh, forget it.