Recovery into Discovery
By Bobbi Swan
It's been four months since I had my breast implants and SRS surgery in Thailand. I've kept up my regimen with Estradiol at the same dosage as during my real life transition and added the application of Premarin Vaginal cream daily with my morning dilations. I'd been on HRT for one full year prior to my trip to Thailand and had been very conscious of breast development taking me to near "B" cup size for my bras. I was well aware that this development would most likely continue for at least one more year. I was certainly correct in that assumption and at the same time very delighted with the results to date. The extreme sensitivity of my nipples has continued with a slow growth of their own along with my breasts.
I've found comfortable and well fitting bras giving me a fine youthful shape and gradually becoming more useful in supporting my breasts with the effects of gravity settling them naturally. And they are still growing as I anticipated probably for another year or so. Perhaps my biggest discovery here are the feelings I have wearing a bra that resembles so well those I had with mastectomy forms. I'd always been told how realistic they would be by the manufacturer's claims and now I can confirm that. I hope passing that on to those of you that may have purchased them will know that their funds were well spent.
In simple words, I love my new breasts and am so glad that I did opt for implants at the time of surgery. In those first few days it was almost a shock to wake up with them each day. Now they are a natural part of me.
But the biggest discovery with this new body of mine was discovered with my dilations. What was once a pretty much hygienic chore in recovery has become a source of feminine pleasure. Yes, I'm referring to the erotic activity that I now prefer to refer to as 'experiments'. It's quite a discovery to find the unfolding new sensitivities of carnal pleasures. It's as if the new genitals are slowly but gradually coming alive with the discovery of known and unknown nerve endings. Yes, there is that so special part, the glans penis that was so cleverly shaped and nestled into a neo hooded clitoris that doesn't quite feel or work like it once did. But oh my! It comes alive now with an exciting way of its own. And now section of my new vagina lining have an erotic sensuality that is also coming to a life of it's own.
In a word, it's exciting and all so very new. It's just not the same in any manner to what I had ever experienced as a male. I can reach shuddering heights of erotic stimulation but the release to a climax is elusive and still unattainable. Only tiring and wanting to rest brings my sessions to a close and I can lay panting in bed with a continuing 'horniness' that is so fresh to me.
I knew well what an orgasm as a man consisted of. But what is an orgasm in a woman? I thought, like many other men, that I knew. But did we really? There certainly are many parts of woman's orgasm that we participated in but did we ever truly know the feelings she was experiencing? A male reaches a crescendo or climax with an ejaculation. It's all over then. The woman appears to reach exceptional peaks of eroticism that seem to be capable of rolling on and on. The man turns over and enters a sound sleep while the woman remains excited and needs a period to calm down. Has she reached the climax a man knows? I doubt it even more now when I consider my new experiences.
I was in my favorite beauty salon I asked an open question to the staff and a client, "Is a woman's orgasm like a man's." All but one replied that they were not alike. But I still was unable to find a sufficient description. It's most likely that it may be impossible to find an understanding or agreement on this.
So where am I in this? Is there more to develop with me? Is the sensuality that I am discovering that of a woman -- or of something unique to a post op? Will I ever find out? Should I really care? Who knows? Right now it's downright sensational!
Bobbi Renae