I'm writing a mystery,
And you are the perpetrator.
You broke a little girl's heart,
Then, for some reason, you ate her.
I knew you were the one who done it,
From the horrifying start,
And on the last page,
I shoot you through the heart!

chorus:
I'm writing a book,
And you are in it.
I'm writing a book,
And you begin it.
I'm writing a book,
You're at the ending,
I'm writing a book,
The next chapter is pending...

I'm writing a romance,
And you, you are the cad.
You promise me everything,
But then you treat me bad.
When our love is just beginning,
I think you're the living end,
But by the end,
You're not even my friend.

[chorus]

I'm writing a novel,
And you are the antagonist.
You make my life miserable,
I swear I feel so sad and pissed.
Right there at the very opening,
You done me wrong,
But by the ending,
I have grown strong.

[chorus]

I'm writing a cookbook,
And you, you are the recipe.
I got all the right ingredients,
But you made a mess of me.
I mix you and I bake you,
And frost you with kisses,
But when I taste you,
You're not so delicious.

[chorus]

I'm writing a memoir,
And you, you're in every chapter.
Our lives are intertwined,
But we don't live happ'ly after.
Start your reading on the first page,
And there's the happy day we met,
But by the end,
Well, it's not written yet...

[chorus]

...The last chapter is pending...