I'M SO GLAD, A ROCK EPIC
Screenplay by Lannie Rose
FADE IN:
A LARGE OUTDOOR STADIUM IN A BIG CITY - PRESENT DAY
God cam, zoom in on a large city. Zoom in on a huge outdoor ampitheatre. It's packed with a cheering crowd. There's a rock concert going on! A band is on the stage playing their version of the old Cream song, "I'm So Glad," which is also the name of the band. They are a heavy metal arena band in heavy make-up, not unlike Kiss. They launch into their final song of the concert, their big hit, "Colors (See 'em)". It starts off with a slow, sad bluesy section. [Musical suggestion: A theme from Wagner's Tristan und Isolde might be borrowed.] The guitars are crying in pain. But it is clear that one guitarist, FLUSH (who we will later know as MAX) is doing all the work. The other guitar player, MARC, seems a bit out of it. The singer, MO (short for COMMODE) is working the crowd. Eventually MO starts singing.
MO (sings)
Colors, see 'em in the sky.
Colors, make me want to fly.
Colors, turn from black and white.
Colors, turn to day from night.
The beat picks up, and soon the band is rockin' hard. The crowd goes nuts. The guitar playing is phenomenal, and MO is straining the limits of credibility with his high sustained notes. MO clambers over the speakers and performs daring stage-dives. For a climax, MO climbs high into the light rigging, and dives, spread-eagled, into the mosh pit (audience). Hundreds of grateful hands break a fall that would have certainly been horrible. The song comes to an end, and MO, MARC, and FLUSH walk center stage and take a bow to the wildly cheering audience. But we notice that MARC can barely stand, MO and FLUSH have to help him.
BACKSTAGE DRESSING ROOM - RIGHT AFTER CONCERT
MARC
I'm telling you, Flush, I just can't go on any more.
The drugs have taken me over. I'm no good to Glad any more.
FLUSH
What are you saying? You're the soul of the band, Marc.
You started I'm So Glad. There is no Glad without you.
MARC
Who are you trying to fool? My chops fell apart years ago.
I know sometimes you don't even plug in my guitar.
I'm just holding you back, dragging you down.
FLUSH
Look, we'll get you into rehab, we'll dry you out. You can be great again.
MARC
I don't think that's going to happen. I'm too far gone for that. I love the needle too much. There's just one thing that concerns me. I love Glad. Glad is all we live for. And you have the vision of Glad, Flush. I don't want that asshole Mo taking over the band. So I'm going to quit, and sell my share of the band to you. Along with your share, you'll override Mo and have control. That's all I care about, that Glad can thrive and not turn into some has-been teeny-bopper band like Journey. That's what Mo will do with it you know.
FLUSH
Stop talking like that! I won't have it. C'mon, be strong.
I'm going to go right now and start making some calls,
see what we can do for you.
FLUSH exits, MO enters, arm in arm with the sexy LUCI. MO and FLUSH exchange a grudging nod as they pass. MARC starts shooting up.
LUCI
Jesus Christ, brother, haven't you had enough of that shit?
They could barely prop your druggie ass up on stage tonight.
MARC
No, Luci, I don't think I'll ever get enough. But you're right.
It's no good for Glad. I was just telling Flush that
I'm quitting the band.
MO
Quitting? Hmmmm, maybe that is the best thing. But will you hold
onto your share of the band?
MARC
No, I'm going to sell it to Flush. I don't want you turning
this band into some stupid top 10 sellout.
I couldn't live with that.
MARC passes out.
MO
Hey Luc, go see what Flush is up to, would you?
LUCI exits.
MO
Couldn't live with that, huh? Well I couldn't live with Flush
having control of Glad.
MO gives MARC an OD (overdose). MARC dies.
MO
Flush! Get in here! There's something wrong with Marc.
FLUSH
Oh my god. What happened?
MO
He OD'd, man. It's a tragedy, but you knew it had to happen
sooner or later.
FLUSH (suspicious)
So I guess it happened sooner, huh Mo?
RECORD COMPANY OFFICE - THE NEXT DAY
There are two or three record company EXECutives in the room. MO, FLUSH, and LUCI are in the chairs closest to the desk. I'm So Glad's bass player, QUINT, and drummer are seated in the back.
EXEC
The corporation is so sad for the loss of Marc.
But we're encouraged to hear that I'm So Glad intends to
carry on and continue building your great legacy.
It would be a profound loss to the rock world if
the band were to dissolve.
MO
We'll all miss Marc very badly, but I assure you that
I'm So Glad's best days are still ahead of us.
I know the corporation will be "so glad" that they
continued to support us.
EXEC
I'm happy to hear you say that, Commode. And I understand you
have some ideas of some new directions that you would like
to take the band?
MO
Yes, as you know, for some time now I've been..
FLUSH
Hold on, Mo. What makes you think you're calling the shots now?
MO
I say so. It's a fact, you see. Marc's share of the band reverts
to his sister, and since Luci is with me, well..
EXEC
It's true that Marc's share of the band goes to Luci, Flush.
See, it says so right here in the contract.
FLUSH
Like fuck!
MO
Calm down, Flush. You're right, you're right. We need to be a team.
We need to work together. So I will ask you right here, right now,
will you work with me to implement my vision for I'm So Glad?
I'm only going to ask once, Mo, so think carefully.
FLUSH
Fuck you! I won't do it. I won't play your bubble-gum music and
I won't sell out Glad's legacy. What about you guys? Quint?
QUINT
Gotta pay the bills, man.
FLUSH (leaving)
Well then fuck you all. I'm out of here.
EXEC
Wait a minute, Flush. We've got a few more things to discuss. Just with you. I think the rest of us are done? Thank you for coming in, and continued good luck with the band.
Everyone leaves except Flush and the record company executives.
EXEC
Flush, you're a man of character. I'm happy to see that.
FLUSH
Fuck you.
EXEC
If you're serious about dissolving your relationship with
I'm So Glad, we'll buy out your share.
FLUSH
I'm serious, all right. How much?
EXEC
Now that's kind of a problem. We've had the accounts run some
numbers, and it seems the corporation has invested quite
a bit in putting together this tour, and producing the last
album, and the videos, and the promotion. It seems, as things
stand today, the band actually owes us money. But we're willing
to overlook that, and offer you, say fifty thousand for your buyout.
FLUSH
Are you kidding me? Glad is a gold mine for this company.
This is highway robbery. Why don't you put a gun to my head
and take my wallet?
EXEC
I'm sorry, that's just the way things are. You can have your
accountants and lawyers go over the books, but that's what
they'll see. It's the best we can do for you.
FLUSH
Crooks. But I'll take it, just to get clear.
EXEC
That's not all, I'm afraid. The thing is, you still owe us
a tour and an album.
FLUSH
Get it from Commode. I'm out of here.
EXEC
Oh, Commode will give us what he owes us. That's not a problem.
But you see in the contract here? You personally owe us.
Not as part of Glad, but personally.
FLUSH
Okay, I'll put a new band together then. Does that mean we have a contract?
EXEC
Of course you understand that since you've dissolved your relationship with I'm So Glad, you will not be entitled to use the Glad name, or play Glad songs, or perform in the Glad make-up. In fact, you will not be allowed to use the name Flush any more. That belongs to the band. I suppose there will be a new Flush. You are now just [riffles through the contract] Max. Max Millhouse. Oh, haha, I see we even own the rights to that! Oh well, I guess we can let you use Max Millhouse.
FLUSH
So you're telling me I have to start over from the ground up. Fine. In fact, that's even better. I've been wanting to go off in some new directions, and this will set me free. I'm good.
EXEC
No, not free, not exactly. We've got this little band that's in need
of a guitar player, and we were thinking you could help them out.
FLUSH
What? Now I can't even put my own band together?
You guys are crazy. What am I, a slave?
EXEC
Now now, you're not a slave, nothing like that. It's just that
you do like your mansion and your Ferrari, don't you?
We can take it all, if we want to. You may enjoy going back to
your roots musically, but you don't want to go back to living
on the streets, do you? We treat you royally, and all we want
in return is a little help with this new talent of ours.
I think you'll like them. They're just a funky little swamp
band down in Alabama.
FLUSH
Alabama? Now I know you are crazy. Bye bye. If the phone rings,
it ain't me.
EXEC
Just think about it, Flush--uh, I mean Max.
FLUSH--now MAX--leaves.
EXEC
I told you I'd see that arrogant asshole on his way back down!
ROAD TO MAX'S MANSION - RIGHT AFTER THE MEETING
MAX is driving his Ferrari to his mansion. He notices smoke.
It's a fire! Is it the mansion? No, worse. As he gets closer,
he sees that it is his private recording studio on the mansion
property. He jumps out of the Ferrari and sees the flames
consuming the mixing board, the racks of tapes, his precious
guitars. He is broken-hearted, and his spirit is broken.
He dials his cell phone.
MAX
This is Max. I guess I'm starting to see things your way.
A SMALL SWAMP BAR IN ALABAMA - A FEW WEEKS LATER
A four piece band (drums, bass, piano, and singer with an acoustic
guitar) is playing a funky southern tune. Enter MAX and a local
record company executive.
MAX decides he likes the band okay, and starts playing with them.
Gradually he develops a new style with them that features his great
guitar playing. Over the months they build a following and play larger
and larger venues. They become known as Max Millhouse and the Bama Slammas.
As the Bama Slammas gain popularity throughout the South,
I'm So Glad's popularity is fading somewhat on the national scene.
Comments can be heard on the radio like, "Since the loss of founding
member Marc, and possible replacement of guitarist Flush, which the
band vehemently denies, I'm So Glad seems to have lost it's edge."
At concerts fans can be heard yelling, "Play Colors!" "This sucks!
Play the old stuff!"
One night the Bama Slammas get booked in one of the South's major venues,
opening up for--guess who?--I'm So Glad. Max's guitar playing drives
the crowd wild, and they won't stop cheering and demanding encores.
Backstage Mo is mad. Who is this opening band, and why does the crowd
love them so much? And who that guitar player?
BACKSTAGE AT A SMALLER VENUE IN THE SOUTH
MO (to local show PROMOTER)
Who is that guitar player?
PROMOTER
That's Max Millhouse. He's been getting a great following
MO
Max Millhouse? Where I have I heard that name before?
MAX leaves the stage and walks right up to MO. He looks MO in the eye.
MAX
Follow that, Commode.
MO
Flush! It's you!
FLUSH
I'm not Flush any more, thanks to you. I'm not part of
AN OFFICE
MO (to his booking agent)
Damn that Max Millhouse. I thoughtI was through with him.
STAGE OF ANOTHER HUGE OUTDOOR CONCERT ARENA
The Save the Tigers benefit concert at a huge outdoor arena.
ANNOUNCER
Ladies and Gentlemen, the hot young guitar player who's been burning
The band takes the stage. They start plugging in and tuning up.
ANNOUNCER
And now, as a special surprise, welcoming Max Millhouse to the
Eric CLAPTON, Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck, and Mark Knofler come on stage,
plug their guitars into waiting amps. MAX looks worried. CLAPTON gives
MAX a friendly nod to get started. MAX fiddles around a bit, chunks
a couple of chords, thinks. Finally, he wails into the unmistakable
opening riff of Johnny B. Goode. The Bamma Slammas singer steps away
from the microphone and gestures to CLAPTON in deference. CLAPTON takes
the mike and sings.
CLAPTON (sings)
Way down in Lousiana close to New Orleans,
CLAPTON, Page, Beck, and Knofler each solo for a verse, and then
it is MAX's turn. MAX plays a verse and turns to CLAPTON, but
CLAPTON motions him to keep playing. MAX keeps playing, and
starts really wailing. He turns to CLAPTON again, but CLAPTON
only smiles at him, turns and unplugs his guitar, and walks
off the stage. Soon Page, Beck, and Knofler do the same.
MAX has been anointed as the new god of the rock guitar.
As he finishes up the song, the crowd goes crazy.
Backstage, MO is furious. His plan to humiliate MAX in front of
these guitar legends has failed. MAX has won the crowd. What to do?
MO (BACKSTAGE, to large roadies)
Do NOT let him leave that stage!
After numerous bows MAX tries to leave the stage. A bouncer
ANNOUNCER
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the act you've been waiting
I'm So Glad takes the stage. As MO walks out, he grabs a drumstick.
MO (in Max's ear)
Let's see if you can still play the old Glad stuff, Max.
MO shoves the drumstick into MAX's guitar, breaking a couple of
strings and bending the bridge. Then he jabs the drumstick into
MAX's side, seriously wounding him.
MO motions to QUINT on the drums, and he starts the beat for "
Colors (See 'em)". MAX, in great pain, hears that familiar beat
and begins playing the bluesy opening bars. In his pain, and
with his damaged guitar, he plays the most gut-wrenchingly sad
sounds that have ever been heard in an arena. The guitar cries
his pain. The crowd becomes absolutely silent, because they sense
that something special is happening. MO attempts to work the
crowd, but they pay no attention to him. All eyes are glued on
MAX, or lost in space as they listen to the plaintive tune.
MO starts singing "Colors, see 'em in the sky.." but the beat
does not pick up. MO screams at QUINT on the drums to pick it up.
QUINT stares back at MO, and keeps the same dirge going. MO
tries every trick in his repertoire, but MAX has a lock on the
crowd. Finally, MO pulls out his piece de resistance. He climbs
high into the light rigging, and executes a beautiful spread-eagle
swan dive into the crowd. The crowd simply steps back, and MO
hits the ground. He dies. LUCI runs to his side, screaming.
LUCI
You asshole! Why did I ever trust you!
On stage, MAX's strength finally gives out, and he dies too.
LUCI goes to him, gently removes the damaged guitar from his hands,
and cradles it to her bosom.
FADE OUT: END
down here in the South.
I'm So Glad. But you did me a favor, Mo. You gave me my freedom.
Now, I've warmed up your crowd for you. Go entertain them. If you can.
But he's back to torture me again. He thinks he's so great.
Let's show him what "great" really means. We've got that
benefit to save the tigers or some such shit next month,
don't we? Get Millhouse on the show. Let's prepare a
little surprise for him!
The place is packed. The stage is decorated in a jungle motif.
Real tigers are chained at the sides of the stage.
BR>Max Millhouse and the Bama Slammas are just about to hit the stage.
down the south is here tonight. Would you welcome Max Millhouse
and his Alabama Slammas!
pantheon of rock and roll guitar heroes, here are some of
rock's greatest superstars! Ladies and Gentleman, Eric Clapton.
Jimmy Page. Jeff Beck. And Mark Knofler.
Back up in the woods among the evergreens..
indicates that he should stay. MAX smiles and tries to pass.
The bouncer roughly shoves him back. MAX gets the idea.
for all night, I'm So Glad. And as a special treat, they
will be joined by guest guitarist, Max Millhouse!
He walks up to MAX in the center of the stage, smiling and
congratulating him as far as the crowd can see.